Enter: Adulthood                    

Single Pressures

From now until the end of the year, I will be featuring 20somethings and their journey through adulthood.  I am in awe by how many fabulous people have signed up to be guest posters.  Click here to read more and fill out the form.

Enter: Timothy Johnson III 

Single.

That word is defined by Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary as “not married.” As a result, the state of being single has caused a lot of angst for some folks and I’m no exception.

I’ve been single for the past two years and I’ve enjoyed it. Why? Well, I think being single is great. You get to meet new people, flirt, go on dates, and do things on your own terms. Who wouldn’t want that?

I find it strange that “being single” is often talked about as a negative. I constantly hear this comment from friends: “I’m tired of being single!” I think this desire to “not being single” is caused by people wanting someone to hang out with, spend time with, and in some cases, engage in *extracurricular activities*. All of those things can be accomplished while happily single.

In that time, I’ve seen a lot of status updates from Facebook friends that proceed in this fashion: “in a relationship with,” “engaged to” and “married to.” Those status updates are usually accompanied by comments akin to “So happy for you!” and “Congratulations!”

My reaction to these status updates is: “Good for them, but not my cup of tea.”

I often wondered if those couples REALLY wanted to get married, or did so because of the societal expectation that marriage is “expected” or “the thing to do” after you’ve been out of college for a few years.

Ever since I was a little, my parents always told me, “You shouldn’t get married or have children until you’re 30.” For the past 26 years, that advice has always been in the back of my head. I rarely think about marriage or children, because there are other things I want to accomplish, that are way more important to me than either of those activities.

As of late, I’ve been noticing comments coming from my parents with increasing frequency, similar to: “I hope when you have children …”, “You’re going to have a girl and she is going to be just like … “, etc. Obviously, my parents would love to have grandchildren someday.

However, every time I hear one of those comments, it has the opposite effect on me - I become less and less interested in having kids. Why? I feel like I have to live up to a future event that may or may not be something that I want to do. What if I decide I don’t want children? Should I be concerned about how my parents will perceive that decision? Ultimately, I think the decision to have children or not, is my own.

Question to Consider:

If you’re single, what are some of the pressures you’re feeling related to dating, getting married, or having children?

Please share your thoughts below. I’m looking forward to reading and responding to your comments!

Timothy Johnson III is a conversational engagist, marketer, and an aspiring entrepreneur. Nothing excites him more than meeting new people and participating in stimulating conversations. Timothy laughs several times a day and believes the best dessert in the world is key lime pie, made with REAL key limes. You can follow him on Twitter at @tjohnsoniii or visit his blog, Social Lubrication.