From now until the end of the year, I will be featuring 20somethings and their journey through adulthood. I am in awe by how many fabulous people have signed up to be guest posters. Click here to read more and fill out the form.
When I was growing up, I was never the kind of girl who dreamed about getting married. I was a tomboy. I kicked boys and chased them around for being stupid - in high school. When I was growing up, no one told me what it would be like to plan a wedding, and no one told me how to deal with losing my job right after moving in with my boyfriend.
Fast-forward to June, 2010 - a couple of weeks after I moved in with my boyfriend. We were just starting to manage the stress of moving in together when my job decided that they would hire an intern when I was on vacation and then fire me. [No, I was not an intern and no, the intern wasn’t really qualified to do my job] A few crazy months after that, when I still didn’t have a job, my boyfriend decided to propose.
Oh yes, let’s throw wedding planning to this mix. Because, really, I wasn’t spazzing out enough about my life.
As I began wedding planning with the help of my amazing bridesmaids, I started seeing similarities between what happens after you lose your job and when you decide to plan a wedding.
People will judge you. I didn’t mention that after I lost my full-time job with benefits, I decided that I would shift careers and NOT go looking for another full-time job. I am not kidding when I said that I had a couple of so-called friends who were so upset by my life choices that they cut me out of their lives. Your decisions will always get judged by someone, but when something life-altering happens in your life, even the people closest to you can start showing their true colors. This was also the case for my wedding decisions - “What? You’re going to wait TWO YEARS TO GET MARRIED? HOW DARE YOU?”
You will change your mind - sometimes 10 times in one day and you will panic, a lot. You may wake up one morning deciding to apply to jobs in another city, like New York, because you can. Around your second cup of coffee, and your 5th application sent, you will realize that it’s impossible to get a new job out of state and stay put. Around lunch time, you will call your significant other, and tell them that you’re going to get a job at Harris Teeter because “Oh my god, we have bills to pay and it’s impossible to find a job and I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH.” You may even start looking into loans because you are going to go back to school full-time and screw getting a job because you’re miserable anyway. I may have done all of this, multiple times, in the last year.
When planning a wedding, you may become slightly schizophrenic when making decisions because you’ll make the mistake of searching for “Wedding” on Pinterest and completely lose it. There will be SO MUCH SHINY AND PRETTEH happening that you’ll want it all. You will drive yourself, and your bridesmaids crazy (Which is why it’s good to have a stern Maid of Honor).
At the end of the day, you have to remember that finding a job and planning a wedding have one more important thing in common: They are important parts of your life, and you’re the one who will live with the decisions you make for the rest of your life. Learning to tune out the excess noise and listen to your gut will be the best lesson you can learn when entering adulthood.
Berrak, born in Turkey on April Fool’s Day, is a newly minted U.S. Citizen, and one of those rare DC natives. She lives (and works) in D.C. with her fiance, their hyper kitten and her Penguin Posse. She’s been sharing real, honest-to-blog stories with the world since ‘03. She has a love for all things social media, writing, and books.