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Defining “Adulthood” as a Doctoral student

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Enter: Alex Proaps

Many grad students are in school until our 30s depending on a variety of factors (e.g., when we started grad school, if we changed disciplines or directions at some point, what kind of “life” events happened along the way, what kind of program it is, what kind of social and financial support we have, etc.). What does it mean to be an adult as a Doctoral student? Specifically, is a student pursuing a PhD in the humanities, social sciences, and some hard sciences (e.g., Psychology is housed in the College of Sciences at my University) an adult?

I found this gem at 100 Reasons Not to Go to Grad School: #12 Adulthood waits.

Graduate school, like modern-day college, can act as one more extension of “youth,” in part because it dramatically stunts your earnings in early adulthood, but also because it keeps you in close proximity to the juvenile trappings of the modern college experience.

At first, I nodded my head in agreement. Continuing your education beyond a Bachelor’s degree certainly holds you back from earning a livable wage until that higher degree is earned. Aspects of undergrad are carried over into the graduate school experience, such as erratic sleep schedules, heavy alcohol consumption, and paying rent with loans.

I dug a little deeper and pondered my belief that graduate school can be one of the unhealthiest time periods in one’s life. Thomas H. Benton is fairly well known for his advice against pursuing a life in the Ivory Tower. Timothy Burke also wrote a great article answering the question, “Should I go to graduate school?” These articles are harsh in their truth telling. The consensus is this: Graduate school is not like undergrad. I encourage you to read the aforementioned articles. They will help explain why I ultimately disagree with the idea that graduate school is an extension of youth and why I disagree that it perpetuates the college experience.

There are still some basic reasons why grad students are adults.

As grad students, we may make less than most of our peers who stopped at a Bachelor’s and hit the job market just after undergrad. Yet, we are employed by our Universities as research assistants and adjunct faculty while we take courses and conduct research. Just as many of us did in undergrad, we still probably live on loans because our stipends and tuition reimbursements keep us below the poverty line. Those same peers who took a job after undergrad probably hit their ceiling for earning potential. We also all know people who are unhappy at work. In my case, I will be employable with a high earning potential even before I finish my Dissertation (this is the exception to humanities/social sciences as I work in a more science-based field). So which one of us is the adult? I will probably not buy a house or get married or have kids until my mid-30s. I don’t have a huge amount of savings in the bank. So which one of us is the adult? I have two degrees now and won’t graduate with my third degree until I’m 31 if I’m lucky. Some people would say my adult life will not begin until that point, when I begin working “full time.” (I laugh at this because most graduate students work the equivalent of two or three full time jobs for a salary equivalent to one part time job.) Grad students and non-grad students make sacrifices to better their lives in the way they deem appropriate. Someone my age who has a full time job, a wife, a child, and a house is not more “grown up” than I am. We are both adults, living very different lives.

It is time we stopped projecting other people’s ideas of success, adulthood, happiness (pick your poison) onto our own definitions.

Grad students are adults, too.

How do you define adulthood? As a grad student, do you feel like a “grown up” yet? If not, do you feel stuck in a perpetual state of youth? How do you think you can break free from that idea? Do you project your idea of how others define adulthood?




Alex Proaps earned an M.S. last year and is now pursuing a PhD in Human Factors Psychology. She is on a journey to find balance within a hectic, often unhealthy grad school lifestyle by spending time with friends and family, or cooking, working out, and playing on the beach. She blogs about her life over at The Tao of Grad School. You can also find her on Twitter at @pixie658.

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